I'm trying not to make too many video posts but this one was too funny to pass up. In this segment, Borat goes house hunting a with a realtor. Some of the things he says to the realtor are completely outrageous, including an inquiry about a windowless room for his retarded brother who has a small head but strong arms.
I have decided I'm going to try to eliminate, as much as possible, french fries and soft drinks (soda or pop if you will) from my diet. This doesn't mean I won't swear off them completely but as much as I can, I will try not to consume those items.
I had one french fry last Wednesday when I took it off someone's plate during dinner. Previous to that time, I can't recall when I had fries. The pop thing will be harder. I usually have one can of Coke a day at work for the caffeine. I didn't have a can yesterday but I did drink half a can today because I needed a boost before a meeting. I'm trying to get all my caffeine, if possible, from green tea instead.
A co-worker of mine avoided pizza and french fries for an entire year because someone bet him he couldn't. That co-worker is in China now... not because of the bet but because I just wanted to tell you that. Anyways, he did avoid pizza and french fries for an entire year. Good for you Nigel.
Here's to healthier eating, which is a good step towards healthy eating.
I admit I am not a fan of participating in extreme sports. While others might find it exciting to do skydiving, whitewater rafting, base jumping, and so forth, those activities aren't in line with my interests. Yes, that might label me as boring but I'm too old to start fooling myself into something I'm not.
There is one activity I would love to try, though I'm not certain it's offered any where to the public. I'd like to learn how to fast rope out of a helicopter. I'm not sure what the appeal is of sliding down a rope with no harness from a hoving helicopter but it probably has to do with several dozen TV shows and movies I watched over the years. I'm also a big fan of helicopters and have never even been close to a working one (though there was that one time a chopper landed outside my window). So yeah, combine the helicopter and the jumping out of it and you got yourself a fun time.
It could be a like a weekend course. They teach you the basics and then you get to fast rope out in different scenarios. First, like a simple field to start you off slow. Then we ramp it up a bit and try fast roping onto the top of an office building. For the finale at the end of the weekend, they let the class descend onto a tanker ship out in the harbour. Because everyone pays a hefty fee for the weekend, there's a BBQ on the beach, where we strap all the BBQ fixings onto our back and fast rope onto the sand.
If this was even remotely possible, I'd go do it... short of signing up for the military.
I left work an hour early today to go see my doctor in Coquitlam. I was getting my second of three Hep A/B vaccine shots. Leaving at 5pm as opposed to 6pm makes a big difference. There are a lot of people running around downtown just after 5pm. Everyone is trying to get home from work.
I expected a lot of people to be on my bus but there wasn't too many though the bus I caught was an articulated one which is double the capacity of my normal steel chariot. I also expected a lot of traffic but this also did not materialize. Content with the world, I fell asleep on the bus, which sadly is probably one of the most enjoyable things in my life right now.
I got home a little before 6:30pm which was a refreshing change of pace. I arrived at the doctor's office around 7pm and in the evenings, it's clinic style which means it's first-come, first-served. The place was packed with people. The receptionist asked me if I wanted to wait an hour and a half. Yikes. I said I would but I'd like to come back. She put my name down and then told me to come back in an hour.
I drove home and had dinner with my parents before returning to the clinic at exactly one hour later. The place had emptied out quite a bit but there were still people waiting. As I sat down, I noticed there were some pretty hurting people with me. One kid was there with his mom. He looked to be around 12 years old. He was in some discomfort which I couldn't attribute to anything specific. One old lady kept a hankie over her mouth and just closed her eyes until it was her turn to see the doctor.
I waited an hour before it was my turn. As my doctor greeted me, he told me I picked a bad night. I gave him the shot and he went away to get a cotton ball with some alcohol. Returning, he rubbed my right arm and asked if I was ready. I said yes and he plunged the needle into my arm. It barely registered as he injected me with the vaccine. As he pulled out the needle, he asked me to press firmly on the spot with the ball. I didn't catch all he was saying but he mentioned something about "the needle going in pretty deep". I didn't realize what that meant until he asked me to remove the cotton ball from my arm and I noticed that there was a lot more blood on the ball that I had anticipated. It hadn't soaked through or anything but considering he had only made a tiny hole in my skin that was a lot of blood. He wiped my arm off and sent me on my way.
I get my final shot five months from now. Now, if only I could come home at 6:30pm without getting a needle.
Without a doubt my favourite awards show to watch during the year are the MTV Movie Awards. The show is light-hearted, doesn't take itself seriously, and always fun to watch. More entertainment than a chance for Hollywood to gratify itself, the list of stars that attend usually skews towards a younger set.
This years's show was hosted by Jessica Alba who went through what seemed like a dozen costume changes throughout the show. Also in attendance were the likes of Owen Wilson, Steve Carrell, Will Ferrell, Keanu Reeves, Samuel L. Jackson, Borat, and Jim Carey among others.
As a sign of how laid back the awards are, the results are announced even before the show airs on TV. Taped over the weekend, the show will be shown on MTV and MuchMusic this Thursday.
There was only one category that I even cared for and when I read the winner for it, I was disappointed and a tad miffed. The Best Fight category is a unique one and always features some good nominees. This year's list featured: King Kong vs. the planes from King Kong, some kung fu fight from Kung Fu Hustle, some gun battle with Bradgelina in Mr. and Mrs. Smith, and last but certainly not least, the lightsaber battle between Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker at the climax of Revenge of the Sith.
Now voting was done online and from what I understand, there are no provisions in place to prevent ballot stuffing. As such, results can turn out like rolling a pair of device. So guess which movie won? Mr. and Mrs. Smith. That's completely ridonkulous. It's actually a crime in all honesty.
The fight between Obi-Wan and Anakin should have won by a long shot. That lightsaber battle makes all those other fights look like verbal arguments between senior citizens. The sequence remains the longest duel in cinematic history. First hinted at in the novelization of A New Hope in the late 1970s, Star Wars fans had been waiting for nearly three decades to see how the events transpired on a lava-filled planet. How long did they fight? How did they start fighting? What did the planet look like? How did Obi-Wan defeat Anakin? How did Anakin drag his charred body out of the lava? All these long-standing questions were answered in this single, dramatic sequence.
It was this very fight that led to the creation of one of, if not the most, iconic villains in cinema history, Darth Vader himself.
So, my friends, how is it that Mr. and Mrs. Smith won? The answer is not because the fight sequence was especially good but because it had Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie in it and they just happen to be the hottest couple in Hollywood.
Now Star Wars fans are usually pretty good with the Internet and stuffing ballot boxes so I'm not sure what happened this time around. All I know is that they dropped the proverbial ball like it was a thermal detonator in Jabba's palace. I voted for Sith twice myself, once at home and another time at work, thinking it would be enough. I was wrong.
Sith was also nominated for two other awards, Ewan McGregor for Best Hero and Hayden Christensen for Best Villain. Suprisingly, Christensen won his category even though McGregor had a way better performance in the movie and simply kicked ass while channeling the spirit of Alec Guiness.
I'm probably the most miffed guy out there about a light-hearted movie awards show. You can download the 2006 MTV Movie Awards show on Bittorrent starting June 8th.
In this segment, Borat investigates different hobbies. I'm not sure which part I found the funniest. It could have been when he showed the yoga teacher his dance, when he said to a woman she looked older, or when he sniffed some guy's crotch.
