SPECIAL GUEST POST BY SARAH KIDD

Now that the folks at www.erwintang.com have received sponsorship of US $10 million to continue their good work in reporting on the daily life of grad student Erwin Tang, they have begun to out-source their stories. That is why I have been commissioned to write about what happened last night.

Last night Erwin, Rhonda, Bryan, Carolyn and myself went to see Shrek 2. After the movie we caught a bus back to campus in the pouring rain. The bus driver was driving rather erratically, and I felt for sure that we were going to crash into a tree or something. We didn’t hit anything, but the bumpy bus ride and the pouring rain had given me the uneasy feeling that something was about to happen.

We were walking home from the bus loop in the rain and I didn’t have my brolly with me, so I had the hood of my blue sweater up to keep some rain off. Carolyn said I looked like Elliot from E.T., which everyone enthusiastically agreed with. I was just about getting over the fact that I looked like a little boy, when I noticed a big kerfuffle happening up ahead of us, along with lots of yelling, screaming and even a little cheering.

We got closer and saw a crowd of about 20-30 young kids, aged around 16 or so. There was so much going on that it was hard to pick out all the details. I saw at least two different fights going on, both involving girls being beaten up, mostly by other girls. One of the girls was pushed into some bushes, and other girls went in after her with fists flailing and claws out. There were some choice words being used to describe the girls being beaten up, and I rather got the impression that they were fighting over boys.

Anyway, for the second time in one week, Bryan ran over to the nearest ‘Campus blue light’ checkpoint to call security. Only the check point wasn’t working properly. Bryan said that all he got when he pressed the call button was some loud static noise. So he was unable to contact or speak to a security officer. However, the flashing blue light on top of the checkpoint did work, and had the effect of making some of the kids disperse in various directions. It didn’t stop the fighting though, maybe they were too involved in what they were doing to notice the flashing blue light.

I don’t know who called the police but we heard the sirens (more crowd dispersal), and then two RCMP cars pulled up (total crowd dispersal). At this point, there were two kids left. One of them was one of the girls who had been beaten up in the bushes, wearing one broken shoe, torn jeans and hair resembling a bird’s nest. The other person was supposedly her boyfriend, but I hadn’t noticed that he had been doing much to protect the honour of his lovely lady. The girl was clearly drunk, and was fixated on the fact that she had lost a shoe. Rhonda and Carolyn had been talking to her, trying to figure out if she was ok, if she was going to be able to get home, and how much her boyfriend could be depended on to make sure she got home ok. But it seemed that the girl just wanted her shoe back.

Three RCMP officers got out of the cars, which I thought was a pretty good turnout all things considered. A female officer approached us first, asking what had happened. There wasn’t much we could say because the kids had all buggered off to cause trouble somewhere else. So we just pointed her in the direction of the distressed one-shoed girl and her boyfriend. They asked us to hang around so they could take our details in case they need us as witnesses. Pretty soon after they started talking to the girl, another officer decided to take her boyfriend on one side to interview him separately. Maybe they needed to see if their stories were going to match. The third officer just stood around wearing a bullet proof vest and didn’t say much.

So we waited around for about 15 minutes while they were interviewing these kids. Bryan and I filled in some time by looking for the girl’s shoe, but we didn’t turn anything up. It was still raining at this point by the way.

AND THEN... security finally showed up. A lone security officer pulled up and walked over to the RCMP officers, who pointedly ignored him. So the security officer just stood around looking pretty foolish. Finally Bryan went over to him and told him that we had tried to call security earlier but that the campus blue light didn’t work. I couldn’t hear the security guy’s response, but apparently it went something like this: “Oh, it wasn’t working, eh? That’s too bad”.

Once they were finished interviewing the two kids, the female RCMP officer walked back over to us to ask what we had seen. But because there were just so many of them and there had been so much going on that we couldn’t point out any particular details. She took the names and addresses of Erwin and Carolyn, probably because they looked very mature and responsible. Not like me - I still looked like Elliot from E.T., only wetter. I told the RCMP officer that we had tried using the campus blue light check point and it hadn’t been working. She was more reassuring in her response than the security guy had been. She said she would make sure in the most eloquent terms she could find, that Campus security were told they had to have the security points repaired. After that we left, since we had done everything we could, and we were wet and cold and tired.

I woke up this morning and felt kind of annoyed at the blasé attitude of the security officer. Why do we have Campus Security and this campus blue light system if (a) it doesn’t work when you need it, and (b) Campus security don’t care that it doesn’t work. So I decided to write an email to Tom Carroll, the Campus Security Operations Manager, to find out what he planned to do to make sure that we would never again be faced with a security alert system that doesn’t work. I expect he won’t reply though or else I’ll get some automated bureaucratic response.

I should point out that this was the second time in a week that Bryan and I have been faced with the opportunity to call security from a campus blue light. The first time was last Sunday, when we saw a guy who looked and sounded a lot like he was going to throw himself off the top of a multi-storey parkade. We called security then and told them we thought someone was going to kill themselves, but security never showed up. The guy jumped, but it turned out that it was only a drill for St. John’s Ambulance, but we didn’t know that. There were no warning signs or St. John’s Ambulance people to be seen. You’d think security could have told us that it was just a drill when we spoke to them. And you’d also think that they would take the time to come out to the scene, just in case it had been for real.

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SHREK 2

I went to see Shrek 2 tonight at the Varsity Theatre along W. 10th Ave. It is a good and funny movie. If you liked the first one, I bet you'll like the sequel.

It was there that I discovered the best deal at the concessions. If you're ever there, buy the Kids Combo. For $3.75, you get a decent amount of popcorn, a small soft drink, and a small Mr. Freezie. In comparison, for $4, you'll get a bag of popcorn that contains only a handful more popcorn than in the Kids Combo. You'll still have to get a drink and the Mr. Freezie as well.

If you're poor, there is no shame in ordering items for yourself that are envisioned for children. Next stop, Pirate Paks and Happy Meals.

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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Some of you might have noticed today a press release about this web site. Go ahead and have a read. It just goes to show you that anything can happen on the Internet!

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AN EVENING AT ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE

I must admit, the way the day started out, I didn't think the whole day had a lot of promise. I succumbed to the trap of screwing around for several hours after I woke up.

I didn't snap out of it until around 3pm when I realized I'd better get something accomplished. It was then I continued to clean my room. This is a little project I begun several days ago. I began with vacuuming my carpet. That was the easy part. Then I went onto cleaning my countertop and sink. The sink hadn't seen a cleaning in a long time. You know what is almost indispensible when doing household cleaning? A toothbrush. It gets into those tight spots and works cleaning magic.

After cleaning the sink, I switched gears and did some ironing. I came back to my room and shaved before dinner. Dinner was alright and I enjoyed my conversation at the table.

After dinner, I hurried to back to my room to Swiffer a portion of my floor, everything but my bathroom. I was hurrying because I wanted to go to tonight's St. John's College Performance Series. On a regular basis, SJC gets classical musicians to perform after dinner. I've been here nearly two years, yet I've never gone to any of the performances.

Tonight's offering was the Borealis String Quartet, the first Quartet in Residence at UBC. I admit I don't listen to much classical music, but I heard this was a performance not to be missed. And what an excellent performance it was. They played two splendid pieces in the intimate space of the Social Lounge. It is truly amazing how talented some people are with a musical instrument. Having been thoroughly entertained, I returned to my room to continue my cleaning.

I tackled the cleansing of my bathroom with vigour. I went to places where no cleaner had gone before. When it was done, there were several places where I would not hesitate to eat off of. The mirror was so clean, I swore I could walk into it as if it were a doorway. The only thing I left was uncleaned was the floor and the shower stall.

By this time, it was 11pm and I was really hungry. I admit I made a McDonald's run. Yeah, I know, I do feel shame. If it's any consolation, this is the only the second time I've gone since I saw Super Size Me. On the way there, I noticed how deserted the campus is now with all the undergrads gone. It was so quiet I could hear the trolley bus lines "sing" as the buses went along them. I'd hear the lines first and then the buses would follow soon afterwards.

When I got back, I finished Swiffering my bathroom floor and now I'm here with you fine people. If time allows, I will do my shower stall tomorrow.

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ANCHORMAN : THE LEGEND OF RON BURGUNDY



The new trailer for Will Ferrell's new movie is out. It looks very promising. It's got Chris Parnell, Bruce Campbell, Luke Wilson, Vince Vaughn, and several SNL alums in it.

Watch it here!

Link courtesy of giochannel.com

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MISSION : IMPOSSIBLE

It is with great regret that I must report to you that my mission to leave Carolyn a note in Ketchikan and then have her return it, has ended in failure.

She has returned to headquarters with a full report. According to Carolyn, she indeed did locate the gazebo in question. At the time, it was overrun with lookeeloo tourists. She waited for a while for the crowd to disperse. The gazebo did not completely empty out and Caroyln, the trooper that she is, went in anyways. She got on her hands and knees and inspected the underside of the bench I had indicated was the dropzone.

The note was no longer there. Not a trace of my earlier activity was present.

Several things may have happened. First, the amount of tape I had used simply might have been insufficient to secure the envelope for that amount of time. Second, a city worker might have cleaned the gazebo to such a great detail that he or she even decided to clean the underside of the benches. Third, a party might have witnessed my activity and called in a bomb squad after my ship left the harbour.

I blame myself for this. I did not plan it out very well, leaving it to the day of my port of call. Perhaps I should have left it with an individual in a public office, the post office perhaps, or even the local tourist office.

My experience with field operations is admittedly scarce, but I trust I will do better the next time.

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DAMAGED DIAMOND

Over the weekend, the ship I recently took a cruise on, the Diamond Princess, hit part of a pier when it was in Victoria.

Apparently, high winds pushed the ship into the pier when it was trying to dock in the capital city. No injuries were reported and damaged was limited to some lost paint. Witness did however, report loud scraping sounds.

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